But, I luuuuuuv him, her, it, them.....

Was Valentine's Day originally suggested by candy makers, florists, or card makers? Whoever first determined that sex and love would help market almost anything to anyone was quite a brilliant strategist, even if he/she was as full of shit as the next person who thinks that love makes the world go round or that it can solve any problem. Makes a sane person wonder whether humans are more hopeful than they are gullible or if they're simply programmed to grasp at any straw.

When I first discovered the photo of tree frogs shown above, it immediately reminded me of moony teenagers who can stare into each other's eyes until their corneas bleed. Even the green color works, acting as camouflage for the frogs and representing the naivety of youth for the teens. There is a similarity in the concept of tree frogs just doing their thing and humans reacting to their conditioning, too. These little frogs have tiny suction cups on their feet, the better to cling tightly to branches and leaves and requiring a conscious effort to break that suction seal to pull away. Humans determined to give their all for love do pretty much the same thing, except that when they are blindly in love with the idea of love, they are capable of sucking all the air out of the room, as well.

Now, don't get me wrong. I'm certainly not against love in any of it's myriad forms. In my opinion, however, love does not make the world go round, love is not a cure all for the world's ills, and love is sometimes incredibly destructive and ugly. Worst of all, sometimes the presence of love is as bad for the human condition as it's absence. It can diminish us. It can warp our hearts and our minds. It can make us dwell in the land of illusion rather than in day to day reality. Too many of us secretly want all the fairy tales we were told as children to be true. Is it hope or gullibility when you buy into the hype and drink the Kool-Aid? Oh, and in this instance the Kool-Aid has to be red because red represents passion, the blood of our hearts, and heat...of our loins, naturally.

Even as poised, aware, sensitive adults, we expect far too much of love. In fact, the concept of love just like the word 'love' defies explanation. What exactly does it mean? Is being in love different that loving? Is the depth of love best defined by lust or by sacrifice? Does sacrifice have a place within the concept of love? Does love automatically equate with balance or equality? Is it really love if need is more pronounced that want? Can one truly love anything they desperately need? Does the universe care one way or another?

Love carries no guarantees. Love is also never free. As with everything, there is a cost of loving and being loved. There is an even heavier cost to the pretense of love and loving. Love will not cure acne. If you have pimples on your chin or your ass when you first fall in love, those pimples will still be there when you fall out of love. Love is not responsible for paying your rent, for setting you up in a penthouse, for teaching your bratty kid manners. Love is sometimes the 800 pound gorilla in the room, but can also be the 90 pound projectionist for that stupid movie loop of Peter Pan walking Cinderella down the aisle that you have playing in your head during waking hours. You don't need hearts and flowers, you need Valium and a cerebral transplant.

Contrary to some of the dumbest songs to ever hit the air waves and the pop charts, you can live without his/her love. If fact, you can live without him quite easily. Really, when pop song angst tries to take up residence in your brain, take a good look at yourself in the mirror and ask a simple question: Am I truly so stupid? Is some person's absence making me ill, or am I making me ill because I have unrealistic expectations? As an adult, shouldn't I have outgrown irrational ideas like living happily ever after? In those old stories, why did we never see what ever after involved? Why did everything end so abruptly with a loving kiss? Could it all be a pipe dream? A tale to soothe the fears and confusion of a child?

Yeah. And we still feed our kids the kind of Pablum and pap that will skew their expectations, just like those stories of love ever after skewed ours. Sex is used to sell everything from muscle shirts to muscle cars to power tools to basic health care. The bulk of all profits in the book publishing industry comes from romance novels. The most popular entertainers in both numbers of followers and revenue earned are those who can be marketed with the aura of love - as lovers, as sex objects, as the happy ever after dreams.

We're obsessed. We're irrational. We're absurd. We're not happy unless we're just falling in love, or happily anguishing over love leaving us, or jealous over the apparent love someone other than us has found. We love being in love and we love being miserable without love. We love love, even if we can't define it or explain it. We live in the fairy tales we tell.