Perversion and Inexcusable Inanity - Normal and Recurring

The final six days of any current year and the first day of the next one are stultifying, frustrating, annoying, and filled with angst. In other words, every year ends and begins with 168 hours that suck so consistently and strongly they could clear every sidewalk, yard and alley in America of every iota of dog doo in ten seconds or less.

It is a perverse, ugly and anticlimactic week, sitting between a holiday loaded with unrealistic expectations and a celebratory event marking an end and a beginning of who knows what that far too many people greet with bloodshot eyes, queasy stomachs and unrealistic plans and expectations. It is also a week dominated by the inexcusable inanity of lists. There's a list for everything - probably even a list of all the lists.

There is a list of things that went right which is short, and there is a list of things that went wrong. There is a list of items thought to become historic at some point in the future. There is a list of the most prominent people of the past year. There is a list of the sexiest men, usually made into a calendar, and a list of the sexiest women who are put into a calendar, too. There is a list of calendars. The entertainment industry puts out a list of the highest grossing movies of the past year and another list of the 'best' television shows. The publishing industry produces a list of the years best fiction and non-fiction. There is another list for the major news stories of the year which always contains some inane frivolity that caught the public's attention. Ironically, the frivolities list is generally longer that the public's memory which is smaller in size that a mosquito's butt.

The major list, of course, is a list of New Year's Resolutions created by those who are too young or too inexperienced to realize they are wasting their time deciding which irrational personal goals to start aiming for on the first day but which they will quietly jettison or conveniently forget by the end of the first full week.

For most of us older if not wiser gluttons for punishment, there is horror attached to this sucky week, as well. It is the realization that another 365 days of our lives have not only passed too quickly, but have passed without our accomplishing those things we viewed as important. It hardly matters what those things are - stop smoking, learn another language, read Ovid in the original Latin and Homer in the original Greek, train the dog to fetch, find a substitute for chocolate, run for Congress - there will always be at least one thing remaining undone; one thing we believe might define us or make us better if only we could concentrate our efforts on it. This sucky week exposes our self-delusions, our disappointments, our blind groping for meaning.

This week with all its constant lists and commentary on lists ends up proving only that humans are basically perverse, shallow, inanely frivolous and undisciplined. It also proves that they age rapidly, and that is the most perverse, horrifying and painful revelation of all...one that has no resolution other than eventual loss of self and death. Yet, we toast each other and our condition, calling out happy new year with unrelenting optimism and good cheer.

We are perverse - obstinate and contrary. It is our greatest flaw and our most endearing and fortunate blessing.