Fed up, f--ked over, and furious
This is going to be a rant….so prepare yourself. If you’re uninterested in a middle aged female’s Krakatoah imitation, bite me or sign off.
I happen to be a bright, well educated woman. I happen to have a feline’s curiosity. I have never been afraid of hard word or deep thinking. Why then should my brain feel like a stagnant pond when trying to ferret out the meaning of techy-talk? It’s not quantum mechanics after all. It’s just massive quantities of B.S., illustrating why geeks, nerds and assorted assholes have so much trouble interfacing with normal humans. It ain’t cute to talk in code, folks! This might be the age of war on twits, but you’re not windwalkers. It doesn’t make you look smart. It makes you look childish. And it pisses me off.
There is no good reason for this world to be so damned complicated. There is no good reason for every slightly progressive thing – like computers – to have their own pseudo-esoteric jargon that requires specialized training to understand and marbles in the mouth to say.
….go to your root system document. WTF does that mean? Sounds like an especially masochistic form of dentistry. It’s not magnetic fields or a conflux of high tension wires that cause our minds to misfire or our bodies to spontaneously combust. It’s all the utter nonsense masquerading as ‘special’ talent for talking the lingo of electronic miscommunication. What are we? A bunch of robotic sheep hung up on electronic barbed wire?
And messages from Microsoft? Wafting down from on high like The Word from a demented god? Error #205, they say. Is that like Excedrine headache 564? So, what the hell is error #205 you type in the help box…and the system tells you to reframe your question, or goes blank, or even worse, refers you to more reams of gobbledegook in textbook form. Why not just say go screw yourself?
If this is just a new fad in self flagellation, here’s a suggestion. Shove it where the sun don’t shine and the smell will kill you.
I happen to be a bright, well educated woman. I happen to have a feline’s curiosity. I have never been afraid of hard word or deep thinking. Why then should my brain feel like a stagnant pond when trying to ferret out the meaning of techy-talk? It’s not quantum mechanics after all. It’s just massive quantities of B.S., illustrating why geeks, nerds and assorted assholes have so much trouble interfacing with normal humans. It ain’t cute to talk in code, folks! This might be the age of war on twits, but you’re not windwalkers. It doesn’t make you look smart. It makes you look childish. And it pisses me off.
There is no good reason for this world to be so damned complicated. There is no good reason for every slightly progressive thing – like computers – to have their own pseudo-esoteric jargon that requires specialized training to understand and marbles in the mouth to say.
….go to your root system document. WTF does that mean? Sounds like an especially masochistic form of dentistry. It’s not magnetic fields or a conflux of high tension wires that cause our minds to misfire or our bodies to spontaneously combust. It’s all the utter nonsense masquerading as ‘special’ talent for talking the lingo of electronic miscommunication. What are we? A bunch of robotic sheep hung up on electronic barbed wire?
And messages from Microsoft? Wafting down from on high like The Word from a demented god? Error #205, they say. Is that like Excedrine headache 564? So, what the hell is error #205 you type in the help box…and the system tells you to reframe your question, or goes blank, or even worse, refers you to more reams of gobbledegook in textbook form. Why not just say go screw yourself?
If this is just a new fad in self flagellation, here’s a suggestion. Shove it where the sun don’t shine and the smell will kill you.
posted by kaz at 6:21 PM
2 Comments:
In some ways, I've always thought of "tech-speak" as akin to a foreign language. The tricky thing is that this is a foreign language built up basically from a binary system. Code functions in the same way in which you would construct a proper sentence in a foreign language - if you leave a word or accent mark out, it either changes the meaning or essentially means nothing at all. [tiny voice] Not that tech speak isn't massively annoying [end tiny voice].
you misspelled krakatoa...
Post a Comment
<< Home